Sorry, we're fresh out of treats.
Sadie pranced, her tail riding high, right up to the sales clerk behind the counter at Ladies Footlocker, “Do you have a goodie for me?”
It didn’t used to be that way. The first time I took Sadie to the 29th Street Shopping Mall when she was a puppy she was terrified. Her wide eyes, tucked tail, nose running clear, and ears flattened back all screamed, Don’t make me go out there! Out there was the the walkway in front of the shops. My heart sank. I sickened at the thought that my girl would NEVER gain confidence, that our life together would be doomed to the confines of our house. Utterly dispirited, I closed the hatchback and drove home in tears.
I devoured Patricia McConnell‘s The Cautious Canine: How to Help Dogs Conquer Their Fears. Then, with renewed hope I backed my station wagon into the parking space in front of the Apple Store and opened the hatchback and door to Sadie’s kennel. I sat down in the space between her kennel door and the rear fender making myself into barrier between Sadie and the shoppers. Every time someone walked by, I handed her a piece of cheese .
After many twice weekly episodes of Pedestrians Predict Cheese, Sadie ventured one paw, then two, then the front half of her body, then one rear paw, then the other until she was standing in front of her kennel. I clicked and treated each baby step, allowing her to retreat to her kennel as often as she needed.
Honestly, though, sometimes my own apprehension that things would never change got the better of me. Damn it, Sadie, there’s nothing to be afraid of! I pushed too hard too fast, like the time I lifted her from her kennel and placed her on the sidewalk. She bolted. Thank Dog she was on her leash. Sadie taught me in one heart-stopping moment that it’s not for me to say what’s scary and what isn’t, or when it’s time to leave the safety of the car. She’s the ‘decider,’ not me.
My how things have changed! Four years later, Sadie still harbors fears. She’ll never be a bold, confident dog. But, if I do say so myself–Today my Sadie girl LOVES retail!
I’m so tickled with her progress, I can’t resist sharing our most recent outing with you.
What's goin' on over there?
The stairs in the bookstore used to freak Sadie out! The first time we tackled them, she hesitatingly climbed to the top, then froze with fear at the prospect of walking down. Finally, after several rounds of approaching and walking away, I barely lured her down the stairs with liver bits. Now those stairs are no big deal!
"Hey mom, I think you should read 'Inside of a Dog'."
Sadie is still entitled to her fearful dog license, so I (and the sales clerks at her favorite stores) let her get away with things that if she was a naturally bold dog she would not—like going behind the counter where she knows the treats are kept.
Got goodies?
Alex adores Sadie and always complements her, “What a brave girl you are!” Sadie laps it up. Sadie even trained Alex to pet her on her chest, not her head! Four years ago you could not have convinced me I would see the day Ms. S. would seek out
Alex knows how to pet me.
affection from people she doesn’t know well.
Sadie even enjoys the play ground at 29th Street when little kids aren’t swarming and screaming. The day we were there it was all hers. I think it was permissible for us to play on the frog since Mall employees (I assume the man and woman dressed in blue and white were employees.) smiled as
Leapfrog
they watched me encourage Sadie to explore.
We finished our outing at the Apple Store, where we encountered a new problem! Sadie decided that she could not touch her paws to the floor mat at the entrance of the store lest it swallow her up! I guess. I really don’t know. What I do know is that many things cause Sadie to hesitate, but this mat that has been on this floor at this door from the beginning, was not one of them—until today!
So I placed my hand palm up on the mat and cued Sadie with ‘paw.’ She place her paw in my hand. Click and treat. (Yes, I always carry a clicker and treats. That’s how I do life with my fearful dog. I never know when I’ll run into just this sort of situation that a clicker and treats will help us to negotiate.) A couple more clicks and treats for paw and then I pointed to a place
Mom, I want an iPaw!
on the mat and asked for paw. After she touched the mat with her paw a few times, I tossed treats on the mat such that she would have to walk on it to retrieve them. She did. Yeah! We were in the store. (Sadly, I’m not coordinated enough to click and treat and take pictures at the same time.)
While I was checking out iPads, Ms. S. doing a little shopping of her own. Not satisfied when I told her there isn’t an iPaw—yet (Are you listening Steve Jobs?), she hit up a friendly sales clerk. Aww, notice how she’s looking directly at the young woman’s eyes! Is my girl spunky or what?
Do you sell iPaws?
We managed to exit over the evil door mat with merely a moment of hesitation and a reward for bravery once we were out of the door.
Besides Sadie’s obvious strides, another thing that’s been improving, and for which I am so grateful, is that she seems to overcome obstacles more easily than she used to. Like the door mat. Four years ago it would have been insurmountable in one try. That said, we still have some huge hurdles. Take Elevators. If you think that door mat was nasty, well the courage it took to walk over it pales to that required to enter the maw of an elevator! I’ll be posting about Sadie’s adventures with her elevator dragons one of these days. For now, I’m basking in the glow of a fun day at the mall.
How inspiring. I used to have a poodle. They are great dogs. And you have loads of wonderful patience. And I see it has paid off.
Thank you. The payoff keeps me going. That’s my positive reinforcement 🙂
Good for you and good for Sadie; it’s wonderful to see all that hard work rewarded. I know the impatience over irrational fears, and how easy it is to give in to it. So you did — as I have too — and now you now it’s counterproductive.
Just don’t give Sadie a credit card, ok?
LOL! I am NOT going to let Sadie read your comment. It will only give her ideas–she’ll want a Master Paw Card. No! No! No!
This just made my heart swell! It is like a drug isn’t it? When you have success like that with any dog but especially a fearful dog! I was so giddy when Tintin went swimming the other day I didn’t come down for hours 😉 Nevermind when Jellybean lets some stranger touch her! You are awesomer than Steve Jobs, Sadie and Deb!!!!
I knew you would get it 🙂 I know just what you mean. It’s an amazing high! That must be our positive reinforcement. Otherwise, would we keep at it? I guess. Sometimes i feel like I live on hope….hope that all the little exercises we are doing will bear fruit! Thanks, Barrie for all your encouragement.:-)
Is the patience of a saint more or less than the patience of a dedicated, fearful dog owner?
Oh my. I’m not sure. I can only speak for myself in saying that whatever patience I have developed has been a long time coming. I am not a patient person by nature. It’s a huge lesson that Sadie insists I learn. I try.
I believe Deb is patient and good but patience is the one thing I always wish for more of in myself 🙁
Me too, Barrie! You are not alone in that wish. I was thinking about this earlier today. I started blogging when Sadie was 2.5 years old. We had made a lot of progress by then. But, if I had started blogging when I first brought Sadie home. OMG that would have been one horror story after the other, either about Sadie’s unrelenting fear and reactivity or my inability to handle it with patience, empathy and grace. Sadie has been a Zen master of a teacher. She’s unrelenting!
Congratulations! It sounds like a great day.
And yes, dogs are great teachers. I just wish I were a better student.
Yes! You and me both.
What a great post…love the quote “it’s not for me to say what’s scary and what isn’t, or when it’s time to leave the safety of the car. She’s the ‘decider,’ not me.” Words of wisdom – I’ll be using this and sharing your post!
Thank you so much. I’m glad you found the post helpful.
So wonderfully inspiring! Thank you for sharing this beautiful story of Sadie’s outing. So here’s something I think is quite cool…. you can actually take Miss Sadie into the mall! Wow! We can’t do that here, tho some places are more dog friendly than others.
I’m now able to lift Aaron with his permission…. which means we’re going to be on the move soon. I’m going to utilize your approach. Open the back of the car, crate door open and just reward, reward, reward.
Thank you, Deborah for your awesomeness!
Thank you! (I’m blushing.) BTW, it’s an outdoor mall and most all the stores are dog friendly. We have an enclosed shopping mall near by. It was dog friendly but is no more 🙁 Also, I can’t recommend Patricia McConnell’s book, Cautious Canine, enough. It’s a very thin book. It helped to me understand, among other things, the importance of distance from the ‘scary thing’ at first and then inching closer.
I can’t wait to read about your adventures with Aaron when you get on the move 🙂
Don’t let her get a hold of a credit card!
LOL! Well, she has asked for one. I put her off. I told her she could have one for her 5th birthday. That’s ways off. Maybe she’ll forget about it. 🙂
Lilly does OK there sometimes … sometimes not, but she too loves those play animals. Three cheers for Sadie and her shopping expeditions.
Oh good. I’m glad you and Lilly play on the animals 🙂
Thanks for joining Pets Blogroll and I have to tell you I love your site! I recently rescued a severely abused and very fearful dog and this site looks like just the resource I need. I’ll be back, for sure!
Thank you! On my way to posting the Blogroll widget to my sidebar I came across your comment! Two other great sources for fearful dogs are listed on my blog roll. Click the tab that says Blogs We Love. Find Feafuldogs and Mary’s Dogs Blog. Mary is fostering a very fearful dog and writes eloquently about their relationship.
Deborah – I am awed by your patience and dedication. As the owner of a fearful dog myself, I know the time, patience and dedication it takes. Kudos to you and Sadie for your progress and hard work! I also love that you described what you did so others can learn from it and perhaps help a pet of their own. Such a great post!
Thank you so much. 🙂
[…] he’s startled, forcing me to drop the leash so he can retreat to one of his safety zones. He’s the “decider,” Deborah Flick says, about what causes him fear. But, quite honestly, this leash thing is getting a […]
I am learning that i too have a fearful dog…..I adopted Jenks in May & we’ve been blissfully living in the mountains for the past 4 months. I knew he had a couple of anxiety issues (bridges and skateboards) but we had worked through the bridge issue & I just avoid the skate park…. (I was told that he had been hit/threatened with a skateboard & golf clubs by neighbors…..so I am waiting for a bit of time to pass before addressing either of those….)
Last weekend i brought him down to Denver, and discovered that he is scared of the “elevator dragons” and the hotel stairs. (I decided to coax him onto the elevator rather than up & down 11 stories every time we had to venture out). Once outside, I discovered that his bridge issue extended to any grates or metal on the sidewalks, as well as any shadows that looked like they could be a grate. Keeping the anxiety level low required a rather weaving path down the sidewalk.
On the positive side his favorite thing about the hotel was the automatic revolving door……he loved going through that door, over & over & over….
The challenge will be this weekend, we haven’t had time to work on any of these newfound stressors, and we are headed back to Denver for BlogPaws. Please feel free to offer suggestions to the girl with the yellow lab who refuses to get in the elevator!
Hi Jennifer–I look forward to meeting you and your fearful pup.
[…] post is a revision of my comment on Boulder Dog’s post, “Mom, I want an iPaw!” – http://www.boulderdog.net/2010/08/23/mom-i-want-an-ipaw/) Tags: Anxiety, BlogPaws, Denver, Jenks, Plan B. 9/11 Hero […]
[…] Ph.D. She was the first speaker at APDT. Remember when we went shopping at the Border’s Books and you pointed out her book, The Inside of a Dog, to me. Well, you were so right! She’s all […]